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Take what you need

I found understanding today, slightly crumpled, in the pocket of my son’s jeans. After nearly five weeks of looking, it really surprised me to find it there, if at all. Understanding had refused to stay where I last put it, safely with the car  keys and sunglasses in a place I can forget about until it’s time to venture outside again. In that place of comfortable habit, on the key holder, in the bottom of my bag, in the fruit bowl with the bruised apple that no one wants to eat. Understanding it seems I had confused with something else.


How I understood understanding was that all of my life experiences, my reflections, my decisions and my interactions allowed me to maintain a fluid, moveable process of evolving understanding and that everyone I encountered in this life should really understand that, all the time, in a compassionate, yet reliable way. My understanding evolves and yours stays constant, thanks.When yours doesn’t stay constant, I just say that you don’t understand. When it does stay constant I say you  really understand me.
It always works. Until 5 weeks ago.  What happened 5 weeks ago? Everything and nothing. Nothing had stayed the same and nothing had changed. A trick of the light or maybe a change in the understanding status quo. You started the push back didn’t you? If you can evolve your understanding then maybe we can too. Understood?Actually no.  Not understood at all. No idea. Not only do I have to manage a continually evolving and reshaping understanding of my own and I have to try and make room for all of yours? Do I need to be compassionate and reliable  as well?

It is of interest to me that of all the things my son chose from the human condition lucky dip, understanding was the one he ripped off and put in his pocket.

Well it did say, ‘Take what you need’.


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