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Staring down the demon: Week 9: Blogging for survival.

I didn’t enjoy holy matrimony. Not one little bit.

Marriage came with Mothers-in-law, conversations about austerity measures, philosophical impasses and the name changing nemesis. The enormity of its shape shifting expectations held a cauterising flame to the tender shoots of my emerging self. To me, being in the wedded state was like a post apocalyptic nightmare, where every day you awaken to the unsolved struggles of the day before, knowing at day’s end life is terminally futile.

Am I painting a picture for you here?

I don’t remember exactly when I came out as an anarchist. Mostly I just stayed away from dinner parties and polite company. Anti marriage rants tend to thin ones social circle and spoil the wine. When someone called me the ‘local eccentric’ I thought it was due to a rather limited vocabulary and what they really meant was ‘avant-garde’ or ‘progressive’ or ‘individual’ or ‘one of a kind’. I curiously sought clarification. No. They really meant fucking crazy.

OK then.

Being an anti marriage heretic has its ups. None of my offspring expect me to pay for, let alone attend any wedding they might arrange. Actually they would probably be quite relieved if I didn’t. Not that I have any real hostility to the marriage of others. It’s just I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. If I had one. I mean, only one.   

That’s all just the status quo. So what?

Where do I go with marriage equality then? The right to marry is considered a fundamental freedom in Australia. Well the right for some people to marry. For men and women to marry. This right is liberally applied regardless of the usual social constraints that operate in popular culture. Fat or skinny, sport star or art historian, tall poppy or weed, you can all marry. So long as I can now pronounce you Man and Wife.

It’s given me a few sleepless nights. 

And I’m working on how to recant. Honourably, ethically, passionately.  Even though I conscientiously object to marriage. The right to marry must apply equally to all people in societies where it is considered sacred, important, endowed with legal benefits and a reason to have a celebration. So dearly beloveds can gather together to witness the unions of the people they love. Catch bouquets, see relatives they don’t like and hear bad wedding speeches. Everyone must share the trauma.

Breaking out the confetti now.



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